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Healthier relationships

“Misery loves company” isn’t just an old saying.

Emotions spread and sometimes you need to be clear about what you want to be around.

How to have healthier relationships

  • Detach yourself. Picture yourself as an outside observer. Is this what I want in a relationship? Observe their behaviour without taking it personally.
  • Kill them with kindness. Respond to a foul mood with calm and positivity. Smile gently. Be calm and they will too.
  • Pay attention to something else. It’s easy to get caught up in a bad mood. If you pay attention to it, the issue looms in your mind and feeds into anxiety. Focus on something else and the issue will diminish.
  • Look after yourself. If you are feeling tired, weak or even hungry, that doesn’t give you the strength to avoid taking on someone’s emotions. Get enough sleep, eat well, exercise and try out the other ways below to feel as if you are in the right head space.

Meditation

Try meditating.

You don’t have to assume a yoga pose or start growing a long beard.

Mindfulness is paying careful, non-judgemental attention to the detail as it arises and subsides without rejecting anything. Practise being with the situation. Separate the emotion.

I am feeling this emotion and I acknowledge it, the emotion will pass. -

Unconditional love?

You could try practising unconditional love without expectations of something in return.

Seek to focus on why you love the person and list 3 reasons why you are grateful to have that person in your life.

If they are emotional, focus on what you have listed and seek to understand and acknowledge it without taking it on board.

For example, “I understand that you are upset, it must be frustrating" and "how do you want to resolve this situation?”

Acknowledgement makes the person feel understood and more likely to defuse a tense situation.

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